06-02-17 - yeah, yeah, yeah. i know it's been a while. a real. long. time. but, it's ok. i needed to regroup and collect all of my thoughts. as you can tell, i seem to have this pattern where i have to go into hiding. i have noticed that i have no real to feel like i am missing something. partly because i lurk on social media. i don't post as most do, nor do i post consistently. i can say i am consistently inconsistently. this is actually a bad thing. so, in order to fix this problem i've been having, i decided to go about it by forcing myself to do it. if that means that i have to get super anal about writing a entry the same time everyday, then so be it. not only have i been inconsistently posting blogs, but i have been inconsistent on my health. my gym member gets taken out of my account every month and i have not gone in maybe 2-3 months. it's these things that make cause me to be hard on myself and then i play the self-pity role. it's just two different sides of me battling. what you need to do and what you want to do. need should always beat out want. so this blog post is a vow. a vow to be better. a vow to do better. a vow to do my best no matter what the circumstance. i am placing my trust in GOD for this journey.